Sometimes, life is a challenge. Not the ‘one big challenge’ but several small challenges that simply wear us down. I’m asking myself, in the frequent conversations with me and myself, “How do I respond to these challenges?”

Scenario: For several months I had a small bump on my forehead – right in the middle, front and center – where a bike helmet would rub, or a cap or visor band would, too. I thought it was a zit, or an irritation, but it didn’t go away, and it started to get bigger. Frugal me didn’t want to spend $25 to see my primary care physician, but after about five months, I did. He referred me to a dermatologist who collected another $50 co-pay and $90 more for a biopsy.

After walking around for another week looking like I took a rock hit to the dome, I received the call. Basal cell carcinoma. OK. I live in the desert southwest. Anyone who lives here long enough is probably going to have a BCC spot. It’s really not a big deal. Really. But it’s still sort of weird. Still feels kind of scary. Still have to have surgery to get it all removed. On my face.

So each little thought is a grain of sand: how much is this going to cost, will they cure it, are there more spots, is my face going to be a mess, will it hurt, how much time off work will I miss, how much time will I have to take off from training, I just spent $145 to register for El Tour de Tucson, will I be able to train enough to ride well, will I get stitches, will I get headaches, what if it comes back again? Before I know it, my head is pounding and I feel the grains of sand filling up the space behind my eyes, the pressure seeking release, but no tears. Just that ‘my face must surely be showing this’ can’t cry, don’t know if I want to cry, maybe I should cry countenance. No current resolution. To be continued.